Why you should share your fear list with others

A client of mine began the year intending to quit the job she hates so she could start her own business.

Then, COVID happened, so she let go of that dream and stayed put. It all just seemed too risky.

But during a recent group coaching call, I encouraged her to share the fears that were holding her back with the group.

She began to list them: giving up a hefty income and the convenience of a company car, becoming too busy to connect with her husband and complete household tasks, not having enough clients to be sustainable, and so on.

Once she was done, she had a realization. Voicing that fear list had taken some of the power out of it. She felt energized and ready to take the next best step in building her business.

That’s the thing about fear—when we keep it to ourselves, we give it power it doesn’t deserve. It compounds and then paralyzes us.

Sharing our fear list makes all the difference. Here’s how.

It reminds us we aren’t alone. Hearing someone else say “me too!” when we share a fear is validating. It helps us feel less isolated and ashamed, which can soften the edges of our fear.

It offers perspective. We tend to build things up in our brains, focusing on worst-case scenario outcomes. When we talk about those outcomes, others can offer a more realistic point of view.

It opens doors. When my client shared her fear of creating a business plan with the group, another member offered to help. She received guidance that ending up eliminating that fear.

That client later told me that in the weeks after acknowledging her fears with the group, she made more progress on starting her business than she had in years. What a testament to vulnerability.

I challenge you to share your fear list with someone this week. (That someone can be me—send me an email!) Then, see how you feel.

Rooting for you,

p.s.—What are you afraid of? Quitting your job? Starting that business? Returning to work after raising kids? Giving love another try? Maybe coaching can support you in moving past your fear and toward a life you love. If you’re interested in joining my next group cohort, let’s talk.

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