Wanting vs. deciding—and why deciding makes all the difference

“2020 is my year!”

A client of mine said this recently, and it was so uplifting as to be almost shocking. It’s not something, I think, any of us are expecting to hear right now.

But say it she did—and she meant it. She’s in the middle of a divorce, leaving a marriage that was unhealthy and unfulfilling. As a result, her work life has begun to thrive. She has a clear vision for what lies ahead, and it looks like joy, hope, adventure.

I witnessed a perceptible shift in this client’s mindset that I think could be beneficial for all of us right now: When it came to creating meaningful change, she didn’t just want it. She decided it.

It’s an important distinction. Here’s why.

I’ve coached a lot of clients who’ve wanted things to be a certain way. They might want a new job or to fall in love or to start a business. They might even begin taking the necessary steps to make it happen, but right when the waters get choppy—maybe someone challenges them or they make a mistake—they abandon ship.

Those who decide on something are resilient in the face of hardship and opposition. They’re committed to finding solutions so that their dream can become a reality, and they prepare accordingly. They expect to encounter rejection, so it doesn’t surprise or derail them when they do. They’ve made up their mind, and nothing’s getting in their way.

Deciding is believing you deserve it. Wanting is wishing you deserved it.

And the ones who decide reap the benefits.

Think about the changes you’d like to make in your life. Are these simply daydreams, wants you aren’t really willing to sacrifice time, money, or energy on?

Or are they more? Can you see yourself being put to the test and still deciding this dream is yours?

If it’s the latter, start laying plans. Because once you’ve decided, anything is possible.

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