There’s a show premiering tonight with a preview that has played continuously over the past month.
They say friendship isn’t one big thing, it says. It’s a million little things.
From what I gather, the premise of A Million Little Things is this: There is a group of tightknit adult friends. One kills himself. The others are upset they didn’t see it coming. The show, I imagine, explores friendship, love, humanness—in other words, a lot of the stuff we forget to nurture between rushing to work and shuffling the kids to bed so we can hop back on our laptops and finish those presentations… only to start over again in the morning.
Meanwhile, in just the last few days, I’ve received these favorite emails:
- “I’m so sorry I had a meeting that went over and wasn’t able to make this today—so much to do so little time!”
- “My schedule has been so busy… Last minute things keep coming up that need immediate attention.”
- “I feel like I’m a butler to my children… I have no time for myself.”
And there it is—the trap. We’re in constant motion, but nothing seems to change: We’re over-programmed and (dare I say it?) underwhelmed.
This, friends, is a friendly reminder that you control of the pace of your life.
- There is not actually “so little time.” Everyone gets the same 24 hours a day. And each of us chooses how we use it.
- If your schedule is busy, it’s because you’ve created that. So either embrace it or change it. But don’t use it as an excuse. (Also, if last-minute things keep coming up that require immediate attention, perhaps you could be more proactive about planning and prioritizing.)
- Feel like a butler to your children? You are the parent, which means you are in charge. Create an environment where you thrive, because that will, in turn, allow you to be a parent that helps them thrive. After all, if you teach a man to fish… Yeah, you get it.
If you’ve written an email like one of my favorites above—or if you feel like you could—pause. Take a breath. Remember that controlling the pace of your life (and ultimately your happiness) all comes back to understanding what it is you want and why you want it. Next step? Saying no without guilt to things that won’t get you there (for me, that’s happy hours, charity functions and kids birthday parties, to name a few), and yes with purpose to things that will (I just agreed to a trip to California to speak at a QuickBooks event, which feels great because I give no’s consistently to savor quality family time—which makes a yes like this absolutely possible without feeling like I’m short-changing my husband or kids).
The show’s line is right. Friendship is not just one big thing—it is a million little things. And so is life.
I want to enjoy all those million little things that make it worth living. I want to wake up every morning, kiss my babies and have a workout and coffee before ever checking my phone. I want to have a minute for a client’s call to celebrate her major work win. I want to savor wine with my husband on the front porch after we put the girls to bed. And I want the same for you.
What are you not noticing right now or enjoying right now because you’re so caught in the busy grind that you’re never fully present? Friendship is a million little things. Life is a million little things.
Control your pace so that you can notice them. And relish them.
Need help controlling your pace? Let’s talk. Email me here.
